[078] Worthy is not a feeling, it's a decision

Facing life's twists and turns, I invite you to join me, Emma Clayton, on a journey of self-discovery sparked by a transformative weekend at the Quantum Shift event with Suzy Ashworth. Have you ever found yourself wondering if you're truly living the life you want, or is self-doubt holding you back?

I share personal stories of overcoming self-doubt and the habitual questioning of one's worthiness, especially as we grow older. Imagine trying on self-worth each day like a new outfit – does it fit? Let's challenge ourselves to live fully, grounded in the reality that life is unpredictable and precious. Join me as we navigate these themes, offering gentle yet powerful reminders to live authentically and with purpose.

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Chapters

• 0:01 Reclaiming Self-Worth and Potential
• 11:11 Embracing Self-Worth Each Day

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

This is the Modern Lead Way, the podcast for corporate career women who want to feel good on their way to the top. I'm Emma Clayton and I'll be sharing with you tangible advice to help you stop sacrificing your soul in the name of success and experience more balance, confidence and fulfilment both in and out of work. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Monolith Way podcast. This is going to be a bit of a shorter one this week because things are very busy here. I've been away for a long weekend where I went to an event with another coach called Susie Ashworth. The event was called the Quantum Shift and it was it really was epic, and so I'm still processing a lot of that, but I also wanted to share some of that with you while it's fresh in my system and can be translated. Um, and also I'm preparing for the next time out retreat that is happening this weekend at the time of recording, super excited for this one. It's not my first rodeo this time, so I've got um an idea of how I want things to unfold slightly differently to the last time, but also, you know, staying true to a lot of what was amazing last time and newsflash if you have wanted to come to a timeout retreat with me in Margate but haven't been able to make any of the dates yet. Then save the next date, which will also be the last time we'll be holding a retreat at the Margate Beach House because it is being sold, which I'm very sad about but at the same time happy for my sister whose house it is. So save the date 22nd of March. It's a Saturday. It is the week of the spring equinox, so it's super exciting because you know there's a big shift in energy around that time where we get to step into spring, like with a spring in our step. So if you want to come to that, make sure you get yourself on the wait list. You'll find a link to that in the show notes below this episode. That will ensure that you get told first when the pre-sale drops, which will be after this next retreat, and we really hope to see you joining us at the next retreat.

Speaker 1: 2:11

So with that in mind, I just wanted to give a few reflections on this weekend because you know the theme of this year so far has been all about reclaiming our voice and actually what we've heard in the last few episodes is really how. I've kind of decided to take a stand on something that really felt important to me to have a view on and to actually use my voice to talk about that, to share and to help raise awareness for people that perhaps hadn't yet tuned in to what was going on in this particular instance in Israel and Gaza, and I'm really happy to hear that the ceasefire that is in place so far, so good. There are hostages being released on both sides and, you know, people are returning to their land, even if it is covered in rubble in Gaza. So let's see, this is not the end I think it's very much the beginning of Palestine reclaiming their freedom. And the world watches on and I just encourage you to keep an ear to the ground and use those resources that were in the show notes of the last few episodes and hopefully you've got some mind-opening, mind-expanding thoughts through listening and tuning into those conversations that I had with the three ladies. That was just really beautiful to be able to have.

Speaker 1: 3:38

But if I just come back to this weekend, the context that was kind of introduced to us was that you know, life is short, right, I don't know about you, but I feel like I've got more people, perhaps because of my age, more people in my friend circle that are losing parents. I lost my uncle last year and we had his funeral. A celebration of life was earlier this year. One of my best friends, my oldest friends, her husband, has just had a severe stroke and he was in ITU for a week and he's not like. He's not in the all clear yet. It's like unknown what lasting neurological damage is going to be had, but it was touch and go and it's like how everything in their lives has just changed in an instant, right, and yet we walk around this life as if we're immortal, as if, you know, today could never be our last day.

Speaker 1: 4:36

And what Susie Ashworth on stage was talking about was her quantum shift moments came in, those moments where she lost someone dear to her. So she lost her foster mum she brought up in foster care. She lost her foster mum when she was 19. And it was that first kind of shift moment where she got to say what the frick am I doing with my life? Right At the moment, I'm just dicking around and I'm not taking it seriously, and I think we can all relate to that in our teens and our early 20s.

Speaker 1: 5:06

Some of you may not be, though, because maybe you were like really taking it serious in terms of your education. You were knuckling down at university, you were getting your first graduate position, you were starting your career, like me, and and it's not until we have these like circuit breakers, almost like these shocks to the system like an illness in the family or a death or sudden loss or you know, something happens like a COVID, where I mean, I don't know about you, but I remember that feeling of anxiety and like the world closing in on me when I listened to Boris Johnson talking about how we must stay at home and like lock down because this was serious shit, like that down because this was serious shit. Like that. In that moment, it's like you, you look at your life differently and it basically comes around, and you, you just like what am I doing with my life? Have I, if I was to die today or tomorrow, have I really lived the life that I saw for myself or that I feel is possible? Am I living to my full potential? And maybe the answer is yes, and if that is the case, then go. You Like don't stop, shoot for the stars, and hopefully you'll land there, but if not, you'll land on the moon.

Speaker 1: 6:24

Right, that's a saying, but really at any one time we get to have a quantum shift moment where we get to choose to live our life more I'm not good enough, or I'm not worthy, or I need to go and get another qualification before I can really do this job well, or like I need to lose weight before I can find a relationship or find a lover. Like, if we are waiting for one day when we feel good enough, when we feel worthy enough, then we could be waiting a lifetime and it's almost like we get to make the decision, we get to choose that we are good enough and worthy enough now. And actually one thing that struck a chord with me was worthy is not a feeling. When we say we don't feel worthy. I mean, these might not be the words that actually fall out of your mouth, but when we say we, we don't feel like we're good enough, that's not a feeling, that is a thought and it's a choice. And when you can choose, when you can decide that actually I am worthy, I am enough, I am me and that is enough, then you get to change your potential, you get to step into that potential from a place of enoughness. That's when you get to try on confidence for size. You get to like really move through this life and just go. What if I did believe that I was enough right here, right now? What would I be doing differently? What would I stop cock blocking myself from doing? What would I just go for it? So the big shift for me this weekend was like where am I not deciding I'm worthy? And there are definitely ways that I am not deciding I'm worthy.

Speaker 1: 8:39

I still struggle putting written content out. It's so much easier for me to open my mouth, which is why I have a podcast, also in human design, I'm a manifester. So if you've followed any of the human design, I'm a manifester. So if you've followed any of the human design content on this podcast so far, my power center is my throat. So it's so much easier for me to just open my mouth and just talk than it is to sit down and try and take those words that I have and put them on paper. So I still censor myself. I still over edit myself when I'm writing content rather than just letting it come through me. So I'm still deciding that my words aren't good enough in that moment. So where are you apologizing for not being good enough and not saying sorry, but just apologizing through your actions, through your lack of power and conviction in those actions, your lack of power and conviction in those actions.

Speaker 1: 9:34

I have always been banging the drum around authenticity and like finding your authentic voice very much, so that you can be yourself and really claim your seat around the table as your whole self. And what was reminded of this weekend was very much that my wholeness, your wholeness, the whole of you, all of you, the parts you hide, the parts you show, the parts you only show to certain people, all of you is your magic. That's where your magic lies, that's what makes you you, that's what makes you unique, that's what makes you real, that's what's going to make you a better leader in your life, even if you're not a leader in your work. A better leader in your home, a better leader to your parents not your parents necessarily, although that does happen, but a better leader as a parent to your kids. A better leader in your life, a better leader of yourself. When you realise that all of you is where the magic lies. All of you is what makes you great, all of you is what makes you unique, and we want to see a world where people are being unapologetically all of themselves and not just cookie-cutter versions of other people that they see, that they admire, or half-assed versions of themselves. We want to see a full version of you, because when we get to our last moments, if we have the honour of knowing we're taking our last breath, I want to look back and go.

Speaker 1: 11:11

My God, did I own who I was in this lifetime? Did I show up and go for it? Did I not waste any time on worrying if I was worthy? Did I not waste any time on worrying if I was worthy? At least not by the time I got to 45 plus, because I've definitely spent way too much time worrying about if I'm enough, if I'm worthy enough, up until now. So this is just a reminder or just a little nudge to you.

Speaker 1: 11:39

If you are sitting there not feeling good enough, can you decide just today just to try on good enough, just to try on worthy, and see how it fits? And every time those thoughts come up that tell you. You're not just tell it, it's all right, we're just trying it on for size. Today, let's see how it fits, and then tomorrow you wake up and you see, if it fits a little bit more comfortably. That's kind of really what I wanted to say. It was not to be morbid as such, but to sort of say you know, we're not immortal beings yet. We walk around kind of like we are. Are we really living life like it could be our last and are? Are we really living life like it could be our last? And with that, thank you for being here. No-transcript.