The Modern LeadHer Way

[084] Sea Spirit and Stones: The Healing Formula with Evie Montila

• Emma Clayton • Season 4 • Episode 84

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Healer and downright beautiful human, Evie Montila shares her powerful perspective on grief, energy transformation, and the healing sequence that guides her work.

In this episode, we talk about:
• Evie's healing sequence: awareness + forgiveness = healing
• The science that explains what energy is
• Grief as a transformative experience that reshapes identity
• How to connect with loved ones who have passed
• Childhood trauma
• Finding your authentic self through challenging experiences
• The sea and natural environments as powerful cleansing forces for sensitive souls
• Creating spaces for children to express themselves authentically
• Human Design as a tool for understanding our natural energetic blueprint

and so much more!

If you're interested in Evie's retreats, women's circles or mentoring, find her on Instagram @seaspiritandstones or through her website: www.seaspiritandstones.com


The next Margate TIME OUT retreat is on 22nd March, get your ticket here: https://www.emmaclaytonxo.com/courses/time-out-retreat-spring25

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Emma Clayton:

This is the Modern Leader Way, the podcast for corporate career women who want to feel good on their way to the top. I'm Emma Clayton and I'll be sharing with you tangible advice to help you stop sacrificing your soul in the name of success and experience more balance, confidence and fulfilment both in and out of work. Hello and welcome back to the modern leader way podcast. So I'm joined by the stunning, very gorgeous, evie montilla is that how you say your surname? I meant to ask you that beforehand. Yes, montilla montilla evie, welcome.

Evie Montila:

Oh hi uh thank you for having me thank you for coming on.

Emma Clayton:

I know this is, um, your first podcast episode that you've actually accepted, even though you've been asked to be on many podcasts, so I'm very happy to be popping your podcast, cherry, I'm so glad it was you. I met you through my beautiful sister, who is a friend of yours. I know, um, you think very highly of each other and I've watched what work you do in the world. You're a local um girl as well, to Kent, and I just love your love of the sea and the beach and all things natural. And, um, I wanted to have you on for a while and you did a recent post coming out of a bit hiding, having been through a bit of grief recently with regards to losing your dad, so we can talk about that if that comes up. But you were like I'm ready, I want to say yes to more to bring it, and I was like come on my show. And you were like yes, because you could hardly say no, could you?

Evie Montila:

you were the first one that commented and then it kept happening. So, yes, and I'm so glad I have been saying yes ever since I said that and it feels great. It was the right thing to do. Yeah, and yeah, I think when he passed, you just kind of realise we're a bit, we're on a bit of a conveying belt right.

Evie Montila:

Obviously, I knew that and I've worked quite closely with death and help people pass over and help families going through grief and stuff. But obviously, obviously, to lose your dad is one of the closest people I've lost to me. I've lost friends and you know, um, grandparents. But like it was like wow, I'm no longer who I was. You know it's really hard for me to articulate that, but like who I, who I was as his daughter, I feel like I am now a new person again. But I could go on and on about that. But it's like, who am I now and what does life look like? I could go on and on about that. But it's like, who am I now and what does life look like without him in it and you know like you know just times.

Evie Montila:

You want his approval, you want to show him or you want him to witness the kids and all of these kind of things and thinking about how much do I want to change my life Because he won't know that life that always plays in my mind, if I know that life, that that always plays my mind, um, if I move here or do there, he will not know me as that person or. But then I? Then I got past that and I was like wow, what's the whole point? And everything is just this moment, and like I am always taking risks and making changes and I kind of want to show the kids to do that and inspire them to do that, and if we just stay in our comfort zones, we're not really living.

Evie Montila:

So during the grief like the real intense part of the grief I was very much staying inside and hiding, just only though, because I wanted to really understand it before I could face the world and how I was going to deal with it and what I needed. Because if I was, you know how I was going to deal with it and what I needed. Because if I was, you know just, I'm very sensitive to energy. So if I was just out there in the world and putting on a brave face. That's not authentic, it's not real. Um, I can't give anything to the table right now, so I'm just gonna be here and also trying to be there for the kids and and I wanted to feel everything fully so that they could yeah know that it's okay, what their feeling is, normal, and so that I could help them as their feelings arise too, which has been difficult.

Evie Montila:

So, and how much of them, how much of yourself do you show to them and your struggles because you want them to also accept the grief is life and that we're okay afterwards. But it's the balance of also letting them know it's okay to not be okay, isn't it? And to cry and so, yeah, it has been. Yeah, it's been a wild ride, it's not, it's not been easy, but, um, yeah, I feel like I'm coming out and the sun has obviously helped, right, hasn't it? That lifts your spirit. So then you're on another level and I feel like I can actually connect to him more spirit, like on that spiritual level when I am in a happier place. Because if you think that when we pass over, our energy elevates to a higher place, right, we say heaven, heavenly, whatever. Then if we're really low and down and depressed and in that grief state, how can we resonate with somebody, who's or an energy that's up here?

Evie Montila:

you're on two different yeah, you're on two different wave limits, right, two different levels, so I had to connect back. I guess the sea helps with that, the sun and yeah, now I feel much more connected to him. Actually, the happier I feel. So it just sounds weird, right.

Emma Clayton:

I mean, I haven't lost anyone that close to me either, but I have had loss recently and it really just bring it all back to you, right? It's like what? What is this whole life all about? What are we doing with our lives? And I just love that you've just honoured that time and given yourself that space and and the kids because they're young, aren't they? Just to work through it together. It's so beautiful because I don't think we have a model of grief that's kind of modeled to us out there. We grieve in our own little ways, but we don't ever know what would support us most in that, in that place.

Evie Montila:

Yeah, so I love that perspective of being on that wavelength, but you've had to get through that kind of almost that sludge to to be able to see it clearly yeah, and obviously, because what I do, I hold space for people, so I haven't wasn't able to work until recently, because you have to be strong to hold that space and for them right to show their feelings and to find their darkness to help. So, yeah, that was hard saying no to that. And, um, yeah, just exactly that no one prepares you for this, but it's the thing that's inevitable for everybody, right, it's, it's gonna happen to us all, but there's no preparation. And the same with death, to prepare a beautiful death, what makes the death beautiful, the funeral, you know, all of these things, um, that we just don't want to talk about. But it's weird. I, I've questioned, I question so much. I'm always questioning everything. Every time I experience something, I just let me like why are we doing it like this and how can we do it differently to make it easier or more comfortable for people?

Emma Clayton:

yeah, I love that and actually before we jumped on, I asked you if you didn't mind me running your human design chart, and I have run it and already so much of what you're saying is like glaringly obvious from your human design chart. It's like that's your two line or whatever. So we will get into some of that if we've got time at the end, because I think it's fascinating just to just to see someone in action and then go oh gosh, that's actually exactly who you were kind of like designed to be and how you were like meant to operate, kind of thing.

Emma Clayton:

So that's, that's really fascinating. But why don't we we kind of jumped in there why don't you kind of give us a bit of a background into, like, what it is you do with your work in the world, because it's so beautiful and and then we can kind of like dive into like where even that came from.

Evie Montila:

Okay, yeah, you've got to keep me straight please, I no please, I can't, I press off. Okay, so the work I do is basically like trauma-based healing Okay, so it's healing, but ultimately no one can heal you other than yourself.

Evie Montila:

So it's showing people and guiding people in the right direction, for them and every single person's journey is different, but the one thing that everybody has to kind of learn how to do is this sequence I call it my sequence for healing and that is awareness plus forgiveness equals heal. Okay, every single time, without self-awareness or without the awareness of what's going on in your body, why are you imbalanced, you know? Why are you stressed, depressed? What are these things? There's a reason why they. They don't just happen.

Evie Montila:

So, once you have the awareness, it's what you do with it, because energy, like we know, energy can never be destroyed, can it? It can only be transferred. So this is all scientific and lots of people think, you know, like they call it woo-woo, don't they? Or healing, or spirituality, all these different names that people call this, but ultimately it's. It is scientific if you understand energy right and the fundamentals of energy. And knowing that energy can never be destroyed, only transferred, means that we are made of energy. Scientifically, we're made of energy. So when we we have to transfer, we can't be destroyed. Obviously, our bodies, we borrow for this lifetime, this is just our shell and that will, you know, decompose and that will go back into the earth. But our soul, our spirit, which is undeniable, isn't it? Like even people that are very what's the word? Cynical or don't believe in anything, they know that they have a spirit or a soul, right, like when we say, oh, let's lift our spirits, or you know, she's very spirited. All these things people say without actually having any understanding what they mean or intention behind it. Yeah, and it's when you think into these words that we've always said so clearly we have spirit and soul. So when we, we die, where does that go? The energy that makes you, you, me, me, et cetera. That has to go somewhere. It has to be transferred into some essence. Ok, so, obviously people have their own ideas on that, but knowing that we also, as we're here living in life, this energy we carry every single day, and when you're around certain people, you pick up on their heavy energy or their negativity and, and it can bring you down or it can bring you up, there's also people that make you feel incredible isn't there and you bounce off. So, so, knowing this energy is there and also understanding the energy we hold when we feel something.

Evie Montila:

Okay, so, when we feel resentment, anger, jealousy, anger, jealousy, hate, all of these big, big emotions, betrayal, if someone's betrayed us, that's a real big one that affects the you internally, um, grief. If grief isn't actually dealt with and felt and released, that can manifest. So so what I'm saying is, if you don't become aware of these feelings inside, this energy manifests as a physical problem from something mental. So, um, you know, anxiety, depression, all these different things, or physical cancers, disease, illness. So lots of my patients are coming to me either poorly, um, or with some kind of anxiety, or they know that there's trauma, they know they need help and guidance, but they don't know where to start. Um, lots of childhood stuff, if I'm really honest, most of the women patients that I have, almost all of them, have experienced some kind of sexual abuse and I feel that was the pandemic of, like our kind of generations that no one speaks about Not very often anyway. It's not mainstream, is it?

Evie Montila:

So that's normally the key, and when we, when we find the root of every problem, they heal. So that's what the awareness is, it's finding the root and and then your body can heal. That's what our bodies are meant to do. Right, they can, they can heal. So, um, yeah, that's the kind of work we do we get to the bottom of it and the only way to transfer that energy out.

Evie Montila:

Once you've figured out why you've got cancer or why you feel this way, you forgive. The only way to transfer the energy is forgiveness. No matter how bad the crime, the situation, the person, even if it's for yourself, forgiveness is the key. Um, so it. I walk them through that journey of forgiveness, like inner child work and all these different kind of methods that I use to do that. And then, um, yeah, once they've forgiven, they're kind of on their journey and I'm there to support them if they need homeopathic remedies or herbs, you know, to help the body. And obviously movement is incredible. Swimming, I always say, like cleansing in the sea, barefoot, grounding, touching the trees, exchanging energy good energy boundaries is knowing people that good for you, who are, who are not good for you, and putting in those clear boundaries. But yes, so that's the kind of work, um, in a nutshell, but it's real inner child healing. Obviously I do like reiki, hands-on healing so I can check chakras, but I don't like saying chakras, I say soul points because that's more authentic to me. Right, it's what?

Evie Montila:

sounds more like something I would use. So your soul points um, again, scientific. We have that energy that runs through our bodies and above us and below us, and and it's just making sure that that's balanced. And I can see and feel there's blockages there as well, and so releasing any blockages, yeah, that kind of thing, all the things, yeah, the range of frequency basically the most important thing is joy. So once you've done this stuff, you can't then just dwell on it forever. It's important that you, you cry and you let it go, but then it's about, once you've found forgiveness, you've got no reason to be held back anymore. The blockages in your life should be gone. And then yes, about saying yes, right, taking risks and having fun again.

Emma Clayton:

I love all of what you said and there's so many little tangents that we could go off on. But one point that's really kind of came up for me when you were talking about um, energy transferring. One of my best friends has her husband's just had a really bad stroke that left him like very badly brain damaged and it was interesting. So we were having a conversation where she was talking about their conversation. So he hasn't got that much speech. He can say yes, no, answer, that kind of thing. But they explained to her that actually the parts of his brain that comprehend what he's kind of saying or how he's answering has gone, has gone. So actually it's almost like he is in there but his brain isn't functioning enough to allow him to respond.

Emma Clayton:

And I sort of said so what part of him is still alive? Because it's not a part of the brain, it's he's like, and I think it's the soul piece. Right, his soul is still very much alive and wants to communicate, it's just the brain can't actually translate that into words. So I think that was really fascinating for me to and for us as a friend group to have this conversation around, because we get very technical around the brain and like the way we think and the kind of scientific piece around that, that actually, well, there's an undeniable piece of his character that is still alive within him and that doesn't reside anywhere in the brain.

Evie Montila:

No, there's so much science about the heart If you look into that, having its own brain, and you know, like we say, it's the soul right. And when I go to my nan, she's in a home now with dementia and Alzheimer's patients patients you know and and they that you can see this trait.

Evie Montila:

They all, at a certain time, called sundown. They call it, their eyes go and their soul is not there. Okay, and as we know, it affects part of the brain. However, I've witnessed these friendships, these heartfelt moments between them, all it's and it's the soul 100% connecting, feeling safe. But your eyes are the gateway to your soul, aren't you? So it's like at that time when they all start crying and they feel so sad, it's like their souls checked out. Their soul's gone somewhere else. Is it preparing for their next place? Um, or this and this is my new thing I'm looking into to understand it from from a soul and energetic point of view, and the way they cry so much. And it's like my name never cried, she never spoke about her trauma, she suppressed everything. None of us were ever allowed to be ill or anything like that. So, um, is it now their way to release all of that stuff that was held inside?

Emma Clayton:

their body.

Evie Montila:

It's something holding them back yeah, no filter, no brain speaking, saying you know, always thinking and doing. Aren't we heads and hands? There's no brain stopping that barrier where she used to be like nope, I'm okay, you're fine, absolutely fine. So it's just pouring out, but it's manifested in the brain, hasn't it all of this suppressed trauma that's been held in there? Um, so, yeah, exactly like your friend and and her husband with the stroke, it's understanding, yeah, him as a soul and using the brain of his heart exactly. And how, what can he still do? Yeah, what is still there?

Emma Clayton:

you said that beautifully actually, I think it's such a beautiful and refreshing way of looking at things because it gives us hope. Right, there's still like we still have that connection with someone, even if they are like gone in other ways. But why don't we roll it back to? I know you've got maybe an unconventional childhood that has led you to doing this work in the world. That is clearly, very naturally, what you're meant to be doing, so tell us a bit about what it was growing up as a little yeah, okay.

Evie Montila:

So, um, yeah, I was always a bit weird, a bit different, and my mum would tell us stories of like I'd find lost children all the time, or a child would be drowning and I'd save this child, and I was just always kind of in weird places at weird times and then my sister was like things happen to you that don't happen to normal people, as this carried on into like adulthood.

Evie Montila:

It's like even in a nightclub someone would pass out on me or someone would get run over next to me, an old lady would pass. It was just constantly happening and my friend was always like, oh, you're a nerve angel. I was like what's that? But it was like I kind of just knew what to do in these situations and I wanted to help. It wasn't like a bad thing to me, I actually wanted to. It fulfilled me. So I've always have known that I want to do something to help.

Evie Montila:

But, um, the spirit thing I know spirituality is very different and I was having this chat with someone the other day to spirits. People think if you're spiritual, you go around talking to ghosts all the time and stuff like that. I don't. However, I have had lots of encounters with energy as a child and my dad's mum on mad stuff, like when my friend died at 16, he would come and visit with smoke and burning. I mean, there's so many ghost stories I could tell you about, which has probably helped me understand energy as well. Um, you know, my dad's a roof. He was a roofer. I had an asphalt company, a party animal like he wasn't your, he wasn't like a tarot reader, and he witnessed so much as well. So it was nice to have him to know that it was okay and it was normal, and it's people that are very open and naturally in tune, I guess you know. So, yeah, anyway, that weird stuff happened.

Evie Montila:

Then, when I was 13, I got a pack of tarot cards, didn't even know what it was, started doing it around the Christmas table and, yeah, as it carried on into adulthood, I just, yeah, knew I was different. I always had an affinity for crystals. I just needed crystals, was very connected to it. Um, my mum always said you're very psychic. I would always do psychic things, always had like intuition on stuff. And then, um, yeah, doctors, I refuse to go to the doctor anymore. So I think I must have been about eight, seven or eight, probably about my son's age and she was pulling her hair out. In the end she was like, what should I do? And then found a herbalist.

Evie Montila:

So found a Chinese doctor, herbalist. We went down that route homeopath, and I was like I'm game, I'm up for this, and it just felt right. So, um, yeah, we started all alternative living, really, from there and then my mum became a homeopath and so then, yeah, we've been brought up on that and then we've brought my kids up homeopathically and, yeah, very alternative, kind of questioning everything. I guess we've always questioned the narrative being the nicest way of putting it. Um, yeah, water, we've not drunk tap water for a very long time, very long time, and it's actually been really refreshing that, um, after covid time, pandemic time, um, there's been a real awakening for lots of people, becoming awakened, enlightened, conscious, whatever word you want to use. They all sound quite patronizing, don't they? But people just kind of questioning things, um, which makes me feel like less of a freak. Actually, I was even called a freak of nature. I'll do such crazy stuff. I never really followed what people wore. Would like go to school with like orange hair, leopard print, like just mad stuff. Some of the things with plastic bits in my hair that I'd had soldered into my head, like in Camden, like pierced my nose when I was like 11 or 12 or something ridiculous, yeah, just mad stuff. But, um, I obviously just wanted to be free. I remember that feeling just what is school all about? I just need to be liberated and free and go and learn this stuff for myself, yeah, and so, yeah, I guess we were lucky that my mum and dad were quite up for the alternative living, um, and nothing was kind of pushed on us to conform. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's how we got there.

Evie Montila:

Then I went to Costa Rica when I was 19. Wow, I went there on my own just for like four or five months to volunteer in Orphages. I wanted to learn Spanish and I wanted to work in Orphages and I knew that was all I wanted to do when I left school. So, yeah, I went and did that by myself and learned so much there, so much that when I came home that was just kind of, I feel, like I never changed from there. I learned so much about myself, who I was, what I'm capable of I really was tested to my limits there. So, myself, who I was, what I'm capable of, I really was tested to my limits there. So, and yeah, but I was already a dancer. So my whole upbringing was I was a dancer.

Evie Montila:

And then me and my sister had a dance, um entertainment company and dance academies, so, um, it was amazing until I had the kids, and then that's when everything kind of changed. So all of this holistic stuff was on the side, ok, yeah, and then stepped into my power after having the children, really, because I think you have to make such big decisions and choices for somebody else and and yeah, I could just gallivant off dancing, you know, around the world, you know, when I had two children. So I had to change what I did and and I started doing treatments on lots of family and friends and people that needed it, and it just went from there, just spread word of mouth, because I wasn't even on Instagram. Then I hated social media, hated technology, you know, and then you have to, like, start to appreciate it. Don't you be grateful for it. I changed my mindset completely, um, and yeah, came over to Instagram and then, yeah, but the circles thing.

Evie Montila:

That all started because, through the dance school, we decided to um, aim at teenagers and we started doing a b-tip project we called it so we'd go into secondary school, me and my best friend, and we would, um, yeah, do this like workout in the dark disco lights so they'd like lose all their inhibitions and feel amazing releasing dolphins. And then we'd sit in a circle as part of the like lesson and then we'd teach and talk about drugs, sex, bullying, social media, nutrition, news. It was when they started seeing photographs and they didn't understand about online, like all of this stuff. Um, yeah, it was. It was incredible, like no one was doing anything like that and we were younger then, so we were like you know, it wasn't quite a teacher. It was like kind of cool. They wanted to. Yeah, we were cooler than we are now. For sure we were once, but um, yeah, it was just different and they really opened up and spoke about things that were just unbelievable. You know that they'd be just for girls.

Evie Montila:

We aimed it at just at girls, but a lot of the problems were boys and we used to say, god, we need some boys to be doing this for boys. Um, it felt so incredible and some of these girls were on rapport and, you know, had never focused on anything at school and these mums were crying. They were like, wow, they, what we did shows with them and then they got off report. One of them became deputy, a girl and it was amazing, I loved doing that. But then I got pregnant and I did it right up until I had Marlo.

Evie Montila:

But, um, you know, it was a big commitment. It needed two of us to do it. So we put it on hold and we haven't actually gone back to it. It was something we wanted to turn into a charity and continue, especially with social media. Now for for that age group, so it was like 11 to 16 year olds it was aimed at, um, but what we didn't realize we were doing, we were doing women's circles, but for little women, for young women. So that's how the circles thing kind of began, and then I aimed it at women and women anywhere of any age. So, yeah, it was just a natural progression from the treatments to holding the, the circles, to then holding retreats and yeah, wow, that's so cool and I love it.

Emma Clayton:

Just, it really feels like you have wanted to be this like full expression of yourself, and you've just been allowed to be whatever that is, and I think that's that's the thing that shapes and moulds so many of us, I think, in those earlier years. Right is is we are maybe too much for our parents or they're like what the hell? No, like come back in your box, like this is your home, that you sort of stay here and they keep us tight through worry and concern and wanting to be protective. It's certainly what happened to me and my sister in with our parents and and you can see now in hindsight how that kind of like actually kind of whacked some of your actual natural nature out of you and it's kind of like taken going through some of these healings now and the awareness and the forgiveness and all that process to go.

Emma Clayton:

Actually this is me and and that part in the middle was just part of the journey and here I am like who is the most expressed version of me, but I just love the fact that you've just had this freedom to explore and express like fully who he is and we get to see that now and through the beautiful movement you do and you bring to the art, it's just like you are mesmerizing to watch online. So we're definitely going to make sure everyone goes and gives you a follow. But I kind of want to go back to Costa Rica and the orphanages. Like you went on your own, like what, what?

Evie Montila:

yeah, and it's pretty rough back then yeah, it was pretty, pretty rough back then, honestly, when I was telling my husband stories a it, he was like what? And I was hitchhiking lifts? Um, yeah, and I felt incredible, I wasn't one bit scared. I got the mumps out there. I got blood clot in my leg.

Evie Montila:

Um, yeah, I got so attached to this little boy in the orphanage that I wanted to adopt. And then he got taken like you had to. You worked there in the week and then the weekend you had to go somewhere. You're just not out on your own. And then you got taken like you had to. You worked there in the week and then the weekend you had to go somewhere. You're just not out on your own. And then you came back on the Monday and then, after like four weeks or whatever, of me being with this particular orphanage, he got taken somewhere and to this day I never found him.

Evie Montila:

It broke my heart. Yeah, I never found him because there's like I don't know, some of it's corrupt, right, I don't who, not, it was just no one could explain. I didn't understand and, um, I was only 19, right, and it's, yeah, it broke my heart because this little boy came to me straight from where he'd been rescued from and with, you know, burns all over his legs and it was horrific and yeah, never wanted to leave him. And then he was. It was just like heartbreak. You know, quite a young age.

Evie Montila:

Yeah, lots of stuff happened. And then, yeah, got a blood clot, had to have surgery out there because I got smashed in the leg. I was playing football with all these blokes, mad stuff like I could write a book on that trip, but never once did I want to come home or give up it. Just it made me find out who I, who I am like, what I'm capable of, and I felt incredible. I was just planning on coming home and going straight back like making some money to go back there, but our business kind of took off and yeah, never I did go back with Danny and I want to take the kids, but yeah, it's different now, isn't it Different?

Emma Clayton:

There's this real affinity that you do have with kids and the youth and like maybe giving them that best chance, that being their whole selves and not necessarily having to go through this whole trauma healing thing later on in life. Right is it? Would that be true?

Evie Montila:

yeah, I hope so. I hope so. Yeah, like when I think about it, we had this, um, my dance academies. I was like there's no uniform here. Like the uniform was to express yourself, like turn up and be mad.

Evie Montila:

But and the parties me and my sister created one was orange, one was pink, and we then we had like more chicks and then we had rocking roosters, blokes, like all dancers that joined the gang. If you're like, we made an album, a dvd. It was mental. We were doing parties. We were doing like kate moss's kids parties and noel gallagher and all these crazy, you know, people of our time, all their kids. It just exploded but there was no social media then, or tiktok. We were like if we had tiktok back then we would have been like spice girls.

Evie Montila:

So, yeah, it's annoying, but it was the best days of our life and like these kids that express themselves, like they still message and their parents saying like they were the happiest times and so many of them have gone on to do incredible things now, yeah, one of them one britain's got talent, sydney christmas. She was one of ours. Yeah, did you watch it? You might have seen her scene. She's amazing, like look how out the box, she's out box and I always try and do that with our kids, like that's why I've struggled with the school system. Our journey with the school system has been really interesting, the same as your sister, right, lisa, and we were on the same page with that, which was so refreshing and amazing. But, yeah, we never want their spirits crushed or changed. So, yeah, that's been hard, but there are lots of alternative schools appearing, it's aren't?

Emma Clayton:

there now and that's amazing, there's more like. One of my very good friends is um in the business of energetic education, so I think you'd get on really well with her. She uses human design as that kind of tool to help us really first understand ourselves and then also understand our kids, so that we allow them to kind of grow into who they came here to be, rather than kind of fix that, fit them in a box. And she knows, you know, one of her bigger vision is around. You know, looking at the education system, the fact it was. It was created, like in victorian age for the whole um industrial revolution. It was preparing us as children to go into paid labor and be able to like operate machines and sit and do all that.

Emma Clayton:

And it hasn't changed yet. Our work has changed. So we are not going to come out and get jobs for lives these days. We need to have, like a more entrepreneurial spirit. We need to know how to make our own money. We need to have like a more entrepreneurial spirit. We need to know how to make our own money. We need to be like multi-passionate in terms of like where that's going to come from, and it just doesn't prepare us for that.

Emma Clayton:

So something's got to change at some point and I do feel like there's more conversation out there, possibly with entrepreneurs, like think about big names, like not necessarily Stephen Bartlett, but like kind of Daniel Priestley we've heard talking about it more recently Alex Hormozy and stuff. They're all talking about what needs to change in this system to prepare our future generations to also make the world a better place.

Evie Montila:

Let's face it well, the jobs they get, they don't even exist now.

Emma Clayton:

Right, the jobs our kids are going to have, and some of the jobs that we do won't well not necessarily you and I, but, like the jobs that I did all my life probably won't exist because it will be taken over by a computer.

Evie Montila:

I'm not here for that. My kids are not here for that. That's when we leave, that's when we go back to Costa Rica, guys, or something I don't know. Oh, isn't it a minefield? It really is. It really is a minefield. And yeah, we did the Steiner, which was magical and beautiful, but then again that could have had more balance, I think, of sports and other stuff, and, yeah, I'm yet to find this perfect place. So I'm just very grateful now that both the kids are happy and the school they're at offers a variety. Now it's, it's transformed quite a lot and, um, yeah, it offers a lot of a variety of subjects, so they're thriving at the things they love. Um, but, yeah, there's a lot of pressure on that 11 plus, oh my that's the mad the madness.

Evie Montila:

But it's the parents like why, if your child can naturally pass that, go for it. If it affects your child and they have to have so many extra hours, that's so much pressure on a kid. What's that going to do to them like in years to come? I just I don't. Yeah, I'm not. You can see my opinion, I'm trying not to go too in with that one. But yeah, it's about happy child, surely, and find their gifts.

Evie Montila:

We all have gifts and I do always say that, like I believe every single person on this earth has a God-given gift right, we just have to find them and when you find them and you nourish them and you nurture them, you could be whatever you want. We're following that path. As early as you can, I think, don't wait till you're 18 and then start doing it, and then you want to settle down, maybe, or have kids or travel. Like let's go for it, let's just start doing our gifts now, because you really do know what they are by the time your child is eight, you're pretty sure kind of creative or academic or mathematics, you know all of those things. So it's hard the school, but there's so many amazing teachers it does depend on the teachers as well yeah, and they nurture your child.

Evie Montila:

But the 11 plus, yeah, that pressure has just got to stop at some point. It really really does. But I think not enough parents are questioning it right, or they're just going along with it because they did and they went to grammar schools and or maybe then they are questioning but maybe they're not speaking up. I think if more people spoke up and and were that mum, people don't want to be that mum. But if we, if we don't advocate for our children, um, who is going to?

Evie Montila:

yeah, nobody's gonna, right yeah, they're gonna have to advocate for themselves later on in life and yeah, and undo everything, like we always look back, me and my sister, we were like, although the entertainment company was amazing and it was so what we were, like we were the adhd in kids entertainment. One minute they're getting their hair sprayed different colors, then they're doing this routine that, then they're playing a guitar oh my god, honestly, if we could show you a video of it, then we were doing poise. You know those ribbons. Oh yeah, it was insane and it was obviously distraction from all our traumas. So it worked, it resonated, but like I've had to learn now and what's right for my, our kids, we like to try and like not stimulate them too much because then they're like climbing the walls. So, yeah, the Steiner was really good for that, going back to nature and basics. It's always return to nature, isn't it?

Emma Clayton:

Absolutely, yeah, totally. And talk about your love of nature, because I know you are, you'll be at the beach, if you can be, and've kind of named your business after all the elements that appeal. So talk, talk to us a little bit about your love of nature and everything we were living the other side of Kent, so like southeast London.

Evie Montila:

So chisel hers greenied all around there and after I had the kids, obviously you feel isolated again and quite imprisoned in the nicest way possible. Um, with these beautiful little beings, um, but yeah, I kept ringing my husband going can we get our passports? And let's just get out of here, let's escape. Because it just felt like, um, every, there was like a uniform, people even looked the same, the way their hair was, with extensions, the Ugg boots, the fur thing. Like everyone, they're wonderful people, but I just felt like I couldn't resonate at all anymore in that busy life. You know, the hustle, the bustle is quite toxic and nobody seemed happy. These people were beautiful, but in a costume. It's like they were in a uniform, like they weren't happy either. Like who are you? Because I know you're not the same as that person, but why do you look the same? So, anyway, then we kept coming to the coast so Broadstairs, margate, ramsgate every weekend, and we just felt so good. We felt like we could be who we wanted to be, express ourselves.

Evie Montila:

Apparently there's science in this. There's something in the sea that's in our bone marrow Apparently I'd like to look into that more. And there's a in the sea that's in our bone marrow apparently. I'd like to look into that more. And there's there's a therapy in France that people are doing with the seawater and yeah, anyway, I'll look into it more and tell you. But you know, people stand there and they're like, oh, this is my happy place. It just makes sense, doesn't it? They're energetically. There's something that just pulls you um. But I love trees, obviously in the forest as well, and grounding and rainforests, like in Costa Rica and all that stuff. But there's something for me about the sea that cleanses and I think the kind of work that I do and I'm very sensitive, a very sensitive soul. I need to be cleansed a lot to know if it's my energy, your energy, his energy. What am I feeling?

Evie Montila:

So, being by the sea, I find it really cleansing. Energy is energy. What am I feeling? So, um, being by the sea, I find it really cleansing. Um, feel like I'm connected to source right and just calm. It's reset our nervous system. Moving here, for sure, all of us and it took about three months. I say, when you move from london to the well, somewhere, a city to um the coast, it can take about three months for you to slow down, change your pace and reset, and you have to do that, otherwise you always think about going back. You have to do, you know what I mean, because your body's used to that, that way of living. Um, and now, when I go back, I love seeing my friends and family and I'm it's not far, is it? I'm always going back for important things, but when I come back, I'm like I feel the difference energetically. I have to cleanse a little bit.

Evie Montila:

And just the kids, like on the beach, how good it is for their nervous system, because we're all a bit like hyper. And, yeah, just seeing them so calm, they could just dig a hole for seven or eight hours and be really happy Swimming. They all love swimming. Everyone down here is a swimmer, you know. You know, lifeguard surfing that's on their cards. But, um, yeah, I think when we came down, we saw teenagers playing volleyball all the time and having barbecues together on the beach and I was like god when I was their age. What were we doing, you know? And when I think about it all meeting up on different streets, getting different, you know, I don't even want to think, but like they had a purpose here on the beach and, um, oh, it just looked great so it was for a change, for the children's childhood really was like that was the main thing, but um, it's done us all the world of good. Yeah, it's like medicine, isn't?

Emma Clayton:

it? Oh, it really is. And I I started sea swimming I don't know a a few years ago and for me, it's when I feel most alive in the sea and I think, just even when it's like rough I talk about this like I've got this one like real, vivid, visceral memory of like walking into the sea when it's quite rough and the waves are crashing down, there's no one else. Yeah, I was like it's like power meets power, power, and I just felt so, like supported still and like safe, but just like I was. Just aliveness is what I felt, and I think who doesn't want to feel bloody alive in this day? And age?

Evie Montila:

yeah, exactly that. When you feel a bit numb, yeah, chuck yourself in the freezing cold ocean. You'll come out a better person.

Emma Clayton:

Oh, absolutely For sure, right, I'm talking about all this like natural nature and also kids being, you know, allowed to be who they are. Let's just have a little look at your human design, because I know you said you'd had a reading a few years back. Don't really remember much, and that's understandable, because it is quite complex when you first look at it, but I have been bringing this to the podcast, so let me share your chart.

Evie Montila:

I am intrigued.

Emma Clayton:

I love it all. It makes sense, doesn't it? Oh yeah, it certainly totally does. Hopefully you can just see this chart, yeah, yeah. So if you're listening on the podcast now, it might be a good time to switch to YouTube and follow along on the video.

Emma Clayton:

This looks quite complicated, but basically what this is telling me is about your energy type, right? So you're a generator and actually 70% of the population are generator types, so you have like this big warm, open, enveloping energy. So you're like a big warm hug. Totally. Get that from you. Absolutely wouldn't expect you to be anything other than that.

Emma Clayton:

And generators are here to kind of build, so they're like, oh, they're not our worker bees, but they're like our builders. So they see something and they take ideas and they run with it and they build it out. So we need people to build the new on the planet, and so you're one of those, and what that means is you've got like this defined sacral, which means that's life force energy. Right, that's that's where you get your creativity from, but that's also where you get a constant access to life force energy. So I don't have the defined sacral and I often feel like I need long periods of rest and I love being in the energy of the likes of yourselves, where I can kind of borrow some of that sacral energy, so that really really resonates. So you, when you love what you do, you just generate energy around it. That's effectively what it is and, at the same token, if you don't enjoy something, you will degenerate. You'll feel that degenerative energy around it. So it's just a real clue for you is to if it lights you up, then you're going to feel that more energy around it. If it doesn't, then you're not.

Emma Clayton:

And for you you've got this profile. So, same as me, you've got the 2-4 profile, which is the hermit opportunist. They're describing words that are often like really bad, but this one here and this when you were talking at the beginning, where you were like I had to go into my little hole and I had to like grieve, and this is the hermit, right. So this is the the two line knowing when you need to protect your energy, knowing when you need your space. But also the four line is the opportunist. This is like the networker. So when you were ready, you were coming out and announcing to your network on instagram that I'm ready to come out of my hole like who wants, who wants to invite me to do something, because I'm here for it and it's like-four, so it's like that push and pull.

Emma Clayton:

But also what's beautiful about the two-line which I think you demonstrate beautifully is it's the natural, like very natural and passionate, and you almost might not see what's most natural to you because it is so natural to you, but everyone else can see it because it's you just beam. What's what you're passionate about? And I think that just has come through in this conversation. For sure. You've got a lot of colouring like these centres here, like your soul points, not quite the chakras, because there's a few extra ones, so you've got like the head. You've got the asana. That's a new, that's not a chakra as such, but all these colored ones are defined. So it just means you've got like consistent access to the gifts in those centers, and the one that you've got that's completely open is your head.

Emma Clayton:

This is just like where ideas come through, or like, um, when people ask questions, when it, when you're open up there, it's like you're you kind of just got to ask is that my, is that my question to answer? Is that my idea? Maybe like there might just be a bit of openness around receiving things like that, but otherwise you've got so much definition in there. There's a lot of strength in in terms of what you have access to in terms of your gifts and stuff. But what I loved as well, when we look at your gene keys, which is, all these numbers in here relate to your gene keys profile as well. When we look at your gene keys, which is, all these numbers in here relate to your gene keys profile as well. So if human design is your energetic blueprint, this is like how you best operate in the world. The gene keys is who you came here to be, and I just love some of the words that are in here. This is what the gene keys looks like if we look at your life's work.

Emma Clayton:

What you're here to do, it's rebirth. It's like how often did you talk about like you've come out of your your recent grieving period and you're a new person. It's like you're, you've gone through that rebirth and that's actually your life's work and I love that.

Evie Montila:

I use that word all the time.

Emma Clayton:

Yeah, that it's you, it's quintessentially you and you've got this kind of revolutionary kind of energy around you. It's like part of who you came here to yeah, it's you, it's quintessentially you, and you've got this kind of revolutionary kind of energy around you. It's like part of who you came here to be. It's your son is 49, which is all about revolution and rebirth, and I think that's absolutely what you're creating with your work, not just for you, but for other people. You're helping other people kind of go through that rebirth themselves. And then look at this can you see that it says forgiveness, yeah. Does everyone say that? No, is there like no, no, there's um, how many? Are there? 64 different numbers, so yours.

Emma Clayton:

So this is your evolution, and your evolution is what you're here to learn. So you're here to go like like it's there's. You work through like the shadow into the city, which is forgiveness, the highest kind of level, but it starts with intolerance, right. So it's kind of like that's the path. What you're here to learn is to move from intolerance to forgiveness, and I think you've done that. And then there's just a few other things in here, just like light and wisdom and rapture.

Emma Clayton:

Immortality is like like what I see in you. This is your spiritual um key. So this is spiritual intelligence is about immortality. So it's almost like what you were describing around our soul doesn't die right, energy doesn't has to transfer. We are immortal in that sense and I think just you kind of moving through life and helping people understand this is what is like really infectious about you. So there is so much in this chart, but they're the kind of key things I wanted to pull out for you because I just thought it was really beautiful in terms of what we've spoken about and how people can like really see some of those key things for you.

Evie Montila:

So will you send me that? Yeah, yeah, thank you yeah it's interesting, isn't it?

Emma Clayton:

yeah, it really is. You can always get the link in the show notes to the hd initiation, which is where you can actually run your own chart and you can work it, work through and kind of get that information out for yourself. If anyone is curious about what that looks like, but yeah, for sure I will send you that.

Evie Montila:

And if you want to go deeper into it, happy to happy to go there, for sure did any of that resonate from when you had a reading before or yeah, I don't think we went that deeply into it before we weren't. It wasn't that in depth.

Emma Clayton:

So, um, yeah, I love that, thank you there's lots of layers that you could go into further, but I think for now it's a nice little overview. But I think that's a really nice place to kind of wrap things up into a nice little neat boat. It's been so lovely talking to you and having you you and your beautiful energy here. Why don't you tell people where they can follow you, get hold of you and get in touch if they want to pursue anything?

Evie Montila:

yeah, so instagram I'm not naturally very technical, like we said, so instagram is really the only place I have got a website you can get to from there and I'm going to clean up my link tree, you know, for my offerings, and so I've got lots of new offerings coming out. So, some retreats you can have a private retreat with me so you can organize, you know, your own group of girls or couples or boys, whatever, and you can come stay here with us. We've got a lodge here by the sea and that can hold up to eight people, and I do do annual big retreats as well at the Quaves. I am actually looking into an abroad retreat this year. So, yeah, obviously I'll be releasing that on Instagram. But, yeah, instagram is the best place to contact me, which is CSEASpiritandstones, but you're going to link that right? Yeah. So yeah, stay up to date on there.

Evie Montila:

And um, yeah, I think that's it really I haven't got any definite dates I can let you know, but I do do one-to-one sessions and um group sessions as well day sessions, um, women's circles and the mentorship so you can do online mentorship with me. So it's like some soul guidance weekly check-ins for seven weeks, which is quite lovely as well, and then you end up with your own bespoke homeopathic kit as well, because once you kind of step into this way of life, it is like a rebirth, isn't it? So everything you used to do or you once knew is no more. You have to figure out who you are now and what that looks like. So homeopathy becomes a new way of life.

Evie Montila:

Instead of grabbing a paracetamol, you know, you'll grab a napkin or something and it's, and it's fun and it's like building a village. So you're not on your own with that. So when you have a mentorship, I'll put you in touch with other like minded people to help you with that journey. But you'll have my advice all the way through. So if you ever, if there was something wrong with your child or your dog or yourself or your husband, you would just message me and I would tell you what remedies you need as well.

Emma Clayton:

Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you so much for being here and thanks, guys, for listening and tuning in for another week and we'll see you next time. Thank you for having me and I'll see you next time. Thank you for having me. I'll see you soon. Lots of love, thanks bye. I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did. Thank you for being here for another episode of the show. If you're not already, please do subscribe, follow the show and, whilst you're there, I'd love to get your review, so please do leave some words. Thank you so much and see you next time.

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Emma Clayton

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Evie Montila

Guest