The Modern LeadHer Way

[107] Disconnect to Reconnect: Finding Your Way Back to Yourself

• Emma Clayton

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August's natural lull offers a perfect opportunity to reconnect with ourselves, yet many of us experience restlessness and disconnection when given this space.
We cover off:
• Recognising when restlessness and disconnection are signals that we need to step back and regroup
• Finding your personal method for disconnecting from external noise to reconnect with yourself
• Understanding that consistency in content creation doesn't have to mean losing your authentic voice
• How human design can reveal your natural energy patterns and purpose
• The importance of studying yourself to discover what works specifically for you
• Why sleep hygiene and self-care are foundational to clear decision-making
• The concept that modern leadership isn't about following someone else's way but finding your own
• How understanding your design can make leadership feel effortless rather than forced

If you're interested in exploring your human design and reclaiming your leading edge, reach out to me on Instagram or LinkedIn to learn more.

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Speaker 1:

It's a solo episode and I'm talking to you about something that is really hot for me right now and it's arisen because I always find I don't know about you, but I always find that August is a lot quieter in many instances. Now I don't have kids, so I appreciate that. You're quieter on the work front, may look like more hectic on the family front, which is, yeah, all gravy, um, but historically, even when I was in corporate, you know a lot of our head office used to take August off and so, just generally, it would be a lot quieter. You would have a lot more space in your diary. I always didn't take time off at that time because, obviously, not having kids, I'm not going to go on holiday during peak time, I'm going to wait until everyone's back to school. So I would be at work and it would be super productive time and I think that's just become something I expect and it's played out in my business too, and that's not a surprise, because any clients will be off on holiday. They'll have other priorities with kids off and stuff like that. So, yeah, just generally it tends to be a lot quieter. So I've had a few very spacious weeks. When I look at my calendar. It can get a bit disconcerting sometimes to not see yourself busy, and this is off the back of having a really busy July, um, well, actually a really busy first half of the year, if I'm honest, with lots of um things that I've been involved in, lots of exciting stuff and, yeah, really just switching to seeing how I want to utilize this time, not necessarily just to be productive and get shit done, which I absolutely have, but to see how I can expand that time and really use it to my benefit. So, if August is quiet for you on the work front, um, hallelujah, and I hope you are enjoying some quality time out with friends, family, um, or yourself.

Speaker 1:

And what I want to express is that I really understand what can happen in our bodies when we slow down and come to a halt, that we have a drastic change of circumstances or situations outside of us that kind of just change our routine up quite a bit. And for me, what I notice when I have space and time to slow down and stop is I can get very wrapped up in this. I need to be doing more. This restlessness, it feels like very difficult to actually switch off and relax. It feels like my body and my brain is literally buzzing with information that I want to process, ideas that I want to like formulate and all this kind of stuff. So it can be very discombobulating to, you know, find yourself with all this space and time ahead of you, or this change of scene or this change of routine that actually allows you to feel like you do have a bit more space and time, and to also feel like it's very difficult to switch off, relax and all that kind of thing. Now, what's happened to me recently, in the last week or so, is I've become not just restless with this time and space and I'm very aware of it when it happens, right but I felt very disconnected as well.

Speaker 1:

Oftentimes, in this kind of restlessness, we are very much up in our head. Our body is kind of like giving us these signals that we should be doing more. So we're like looking for things to do or we're looking for things to listen to, and for me, it's like oftentimes I go to the programs that I bought, that I want to learn, or the things that I want to throw myself into to get through it, so that I'm actually make feel like I'm making some progress, you know. But actually what's happening there is. It's a big sign that I'm overwhelmed with all the noise that is outside of me and I wonder if you resonate with this in your own way, whatever that looks like. But when it gets to that point and I feel disconnected from myself and I can't hear myself think for all the noise, then I know I need to take a breath, take a step back and regroup.

Speaker 1:

Basically, a realization I've had in being able to have this realization, this awareness, and actually take a step back. And what I did yesterday actually was I took myself off to the gym and I planned to go to the beach afterwards and just with my journal, like, leave my laptop at home. Sometimes I'd pack the laptop up in the van and go off, but I was determined that I was going to be, you know, disconnect, to really reconnect to what it is I'm here to do. And I think I just had this realization that for me, I've just like I've had this really love-hate relationship with the whole chat, gbt, ai thing, like if you've been following me for any length of time, you'll know that I'm all about keeping it real and being authentic and like bringing your whole self to the table. And so I really came up against some resistance when AI came in because it just didn't sit well with me.

Speaker 1:

But the people I've kind of learned from about how to approach it and how to start to utilize it to help speed up some processes right, not necessarily to do things for you, but to help, to like, bounce off of and to consult with and to ideate with I've actually found that I've really started to enjoy dipping in to ChatGBT and what it's done for me is it's really helped speed up my process all the time, from an idea dropping in which I get lots of ideas about what I could do in business and like offers and stuff like that, from that idea dropping in to actually me implementing. It is quite it's shortened because I'm actually consulting with albeit a robot, but I'm consulting with this thing. That's actually giving me feedback, it's helping me formulate it a bit more and it's really helping me, which is what I love go. It's not that when it gives me some feedback and it says, what about this? I'm like no, it's definitely not that. So I'm still like very reliant on my inner knowing, but it's absolutely helping speed up that process from start to finish and, as a you know I've got things out like I've revamped my entire website because I've been able to bounce off ChatGBT.

Speaker 1:

I have got my success roadmap out, which now leads to the seven stages of sweet success that you heard about last week. That's a low cost £27 offer that I've re-engineered from when I first did it in 2021. It's absolute freaking gold. So if you've had your success roadmap, you will be getting a follow-on email to point you to that and if you haven't had your success roadmap, you'll find it in the link in the show notes or just head to my website, emmaclaytonxocom, and it's on the front home page. You can get it from there and then you can follow through this little journey that I'm taking you on. And then that actually leads to the secret leader files, which is another like low-cost membership type subscription that I wanted to get out.

Speaker 1:

I had this idea come through. I've worked it through chat dbt. It's helped me with my sales page and and thinking about how to structure it and all that kind of thing and again, like I said, it's really helped me a speed up that process from idea to implementation, but also really helped me anchor in what it is I want and I haven't just taken what ChatGBT says right. However, I must admit I'm looking out there at this. You know just overwhelming sea of information that's available online and I'm seeing a lot of similar stuff come through and I'm seeing a lot of obvious AI, chat GBT content coming through and I really am very mindful that I do not want to use chat GBT in a bigger way than I am right now.

Speaker 1:

I don't want it to. I don't want to outsource my creativity 100%. I don't want to outsource my voice either. So when it does suggest content, I am using a lot of discernment as to whether or not it sounds like something I would actually write or if it sounds like chat GBT. And if it sounds like chat GBT, I'm discarding it and I'm sitting with what it is I want to come across and I'm working on it from there.

Speaker 1:

The other thing I've kind of I have outsourced in in a sense is um, on the content creation side of things, but I've been a content creator now for coming up eight years and I have always struggled with written content, with coming up with ideas for how to say the same thing in different ways so that ultimately it lands with my audience and they go oh, she's talking to me. I think I need to work with her, but that's ultimately why we do content right At the same time as educating and giving value and serving in a way that's free right. It's free for me to put my work out there in the world and actually get eyeballs on it, but it's also free to the consumer. So that has always been something I have. It's not come naturally to me. Whilst I get a hundred ideas a day because it's just way, the way my of brain works. I'm not short of ideas, especially when I'm out there living my life. But I do struggle again with how to take that idea and put it into something. That is a value, I guess.

Speaker 1:

So I have been working with someone, the amazing Elizabeth Carly Leonard. I'm going to have her on the show actually at some point to talk about her incredible journey in career and her transitions that she's made, and she has a social media content creation agency and I have been working with her at a very low capacity where she's actually taken my like. She's got inside my brain, inside what it is that I do with my work in the world, and she comes up with some ideas that I then go and create myself and implement myself, and what that's done is really again, it's given me that. I'm not sure it's that, but it means that I can actually change, change it to be more something that feels good for me, right? So it's helped with that. It's helped speed it up. It's it's meant that I can be actually consistent for once in my life, because the way my energy works is in big spurts, right.

Speaker 1:

I get this idea, this inspiration that comes like a download, and then I can move off the back of that, like with some real force and and then it fizzles and dies force and and then it fizzles and dies. So my consistency matches my energy, when actually I want to be more consistent online, because the more consistent online I am, the more consistently I'm reaching new people, that my message is getting out there, that you know people are hearing my repeated message said in different ways and will hopefully speed up the process for them to go. Oh, she's talking to me. I need to go work with her. So I have been working with her for the last few months and it's really.

Speaker 1:

I really have been loving the content I've been creating off the back of that collaboration with her and I've been wondering if I've been outsourcing too much of again my creativity and my voice to someone else. So I've just had to really step back from this and what I know works for me and I would love for you to, as I'm talking, think what works for me to disconnect, to regroup, to switch off and to move yourself out of the way of all those distractions. Right, because it's easy enough to watch Netflix for hours on end and still be no less disconnected than you were when you started. It's easy to doom scroll on your phone and to feel more overwhelmed than when you started, even though you're trying to distract yourself from, like, whatever it is that's going on. So, for me, what I know really works when I start to feel disconnected, when I'm starting to feel that real restlessness, when it feels like there's so much noise and I'm getting overwhelmed and I'm questioning. I'm questioning myself.

Speaker 1:

Right is I know I need to get out of my house. I need to change my scene. I need to get off grid, ideally where there's not many people around, so don't do well with crowds and ideally it would be out in nature, it would be without my devices and it would be with my journal, and ideally it would be somewhere with a view, or on the beach For me to have my feet in the sand, to be able to get in the water and to let things wash away and to just be around the smell of the sea and the sound of the waves and, you know, just be with myself. I need that time alone with myself to be able to do that, and that's not for everyone, which is why I said really, what works for you Like? What would your getting off grid look like? Because it doesn't have to be what works for me. I've found what works for me through my own self discovery journey over the last few years and this is now what I help other women do. Right, it's find what feels good for you, not my way. Your way, the modern leader way is your way. This is what I have to do.

Speaker 1:

I have to prioritize sleep hygiene, so like knowing that I need to be in bed by about 9 30, otherwise I miss my window to to fall asleep. Knowing that I need to be taking my magnesium and ideally having a bath before bed if time allows, and not having any screen time after eight o'clock or wearing my blue lens glasses. I need to really ensure that I'm setting myself up for the best night's sleep possible and in the last week I've had some terrible night's sleep, largely because I've tried to do too much. Friday, for example, I got up, I took the dog on a six kilometre walk, I did two loads of washing before and after the walk I went and mowed the lawn because we had guests arriving that day, and then I went to my PT session and we we kind of did some super sets. We went quite heavy and it was just too much. I was ravenous. Afterwards I had a 90 minute nap. I can't really call that a nap, can you? Very unlike me to do that, but it just wiped me out and as a result, I had an absolute atrocious night's sleep that night. All those kind of things I know I need to really prioritize good sleep, good quality sleep, because then I'm going to feel better the next day. I'm not going to make any rash decisions about life or work or anything like that after a crap night's sleep. All right, when I feel emotionally unstable because I didn't get my eight hours that I desperately need to be like firing on all cylinders.

Speaker 1:

Now I know all of this about myself because I have studied myself. I have been me, my person has been the subject of my study over the last 15 years or so. I have been so fascinated with getting to know myself, to getting to know what makes me tick, to getting to know why I behave in the way that I behave and how I can change that, because once upon a time I thought I just was what, I was right and there was no change in that. That was just it. It is what it is and you've just got to suck it up and deal with it. You're going to experience the anxiety that you experience. You're going to experience all these unwanted behaviors around food, for example, and you just got to put up and this is the way life is going to be. And I call bullshit to that. Now because I know different and I guess I've always known deep inside different, because I have made it my life's work to really understand myself, and one of the tools that's really helped me is human design and again, I use a lot of discernment with any of these tools.

Speaker 1:

Right, whether it's MBTI, any of these personality traits can't even remember what they're called teams profiling. There's others that use colours. You know them If you've been in the corporate world or anything like that. You will have known these personality type profiling and, yeah, you would be probably bowled over by some of the information that you get. Some of it you might be like rejecting because you don't want to be in that camp. You want to be in that camp over there with all the cool kids, right. But ultimately you might be like, actually, yeah, I can't Can't deny a lot of that.

Speaker 1:

Human design is kind of like the next best thing since MBTI is what I call it. This is like who you're designed to become here in this lifetime and be and how you're designed to operate best. And it's sister system, if you like, it's called gene keys, and this is like who you came here to be. So it is a system. I've spoken about it on the podcast before. If you go back to last summer, I actually had my teacher and good friend, sue Jones Miranda on the show where we spoke about what human design was and how it helped us and changed our lives, and then we did some human design readings for some famous people. So definitely go check that. Check that out if this is the first time you're hearing me talk about it. Also, if you go to my website emmaclayandxocom. I've now got a free resources page, so on there you'll find the HD initiation, which is where you can go on.

Speaker 1:

You can run your own chart, you can work your way through a little series of short videos to help you actually start to interpret your chart, because when you first look at it, it makes no sense. It makes absolutely no sense. It can be quite complex and overwhelming to start with, and we want to take that overwhelm out of it, because it really is a great system at the end of the day, and what this does is it? It tells us a few things about your energy and the way you most effectively move through this life, and it tells us, like the roles you came here to play, tells us about your genius, your, your purpose in life. It tells us about your gifts and your strengths. These are your innate gifts and strengths and talents and it tells us, or it gives us, clues as to where you might be out of alignment, out of whack, right. So, as an example, my energy type is what is called a manifester. Now, a manifester, as I described earlier actually without even talking about referring to human sign is someone that gets these bursts of energy when an idea lands, and literally the idea lands as if out of nowhere, and then we get this like real momentum behind it and this like it feels quite forceful even though there is zero force in it. We just like move on this idea and boom, it's out there in the world the rest of the time that we need to rest. So actually, if you think about putting a manifesto in a corporate environment, for example, where you've got to be switched on nine to five or eight or late every single day in the in the week and repeat it every single Monday, it so doesn't work for a manifesto.

Speaker 1:

And now I realise that I know that I need to design my life very differently. Now I'm my own boss and I have my own business and I can do that right. That's one thing. Another thing I know about myself from my human design chart is I have a two line in my profile and the two line is the hermit right. So I also have a four line. The four line is the networker. So they kind of feel like contradiction in terms, but actually they're very complimentary. So when I'm feeling in my four line, I'm delivering workshops at festivals and I'm going to retreats with, you know, 15 other people and I'm having a whale of a time. Then my two line kicks in. It's like now we need to retreat, now we need to be alone, now we need to be in our own energy. And knowing this about myself makes perfect sense.

Speaker 1:

Why my desire and my drive when I feel like I have done recently, where I felt very disconnected and very restless is to be on my own is to go and create space where I can be on my own in my own energy, with my own thoughts, where I can relax, where I can switch off, where I can block out that noise. Right Now you might be very, very different again, and this is where human design is great, because it talks about your uniqueness. It's the things that differentiate you from me. It's the things that back up this whole message of we got to find what feels good for you. It's not my way, it's your way. The modern leader way is not my way, it's your way. What is your way? And human design is a great way to look at that.

Speaker 1:

So another thing in my human design which I find fascinating, and I'm only really kind of owning now, is that we have this thing let's just call it our purpose in life, and my purpose is very much about helping women reconnect to who they came here to be and what they came here to do in their life. Ultimately, at my essence, that's what I do, and I do it first by reconnecting to who I am, who I came here to be and what I came here to do in the world. So it makes perfect sense to me just to bring this full circle. It makes perfect sense to me, right, just to bring this full circle. It makes perfect sense that when I feel disconnected, I know I need to reconnect to who I am and what I'm here to do. And I might have to do that time and time again. And, of course, I have to do that because it's only when I've done it for myself that I can help you do it for yourself too. I'm going first. So ultimately, that's what I do, and that's why I'm really excited that my latest one-to-one offer is called Reclaim your Leading Edge, and this is where we are going to look at your human design and gene keys.

Speaker 1:

We're going to get like so in depth into what these reports say about you so that you can decide don't agree with that. Oh my god, wow cannot deny that, and then we can look at where do you get to step into more of your unique gifts, strengths, talents, and amplify that, because that is your leading edge. That is what's going to differentiate you from the next leader, from the next business owner, from the next corporate leader. It's going to amplify your natural nature and actually allow you to stand in your brilliance effortlessly. Right, this is the key. It's effortless when you actually know that that is your natural nature and that is who you're born to be and how you were designed to actually operate through this world. And you can tweak your life. And you make those little micro tweaks to how you're living life and how you're showing up. It changes everything. It feels effortless. Everything feels so much more easy. So if it feels difficult, if it feels like you're coming up against that brick wall, it's possibly that you're just going against your natural nature.

Speaker 1:

So if this has piqued your interest at all, I would love for you to reach out. Drop me a dm on instagram or linkedin. Let me know that you'd love to hear more about reclaim your leading edge and, yeah, let's have a chat about that. I would love, love, love, love to deep dive into the truth of who you be so that you can own it. Own it and feel the ease that comes from it. So I'm constantly going back to, um, the truth of who I am, and for me, that is right now needing to reconnect.

Speaker 1:

So I'm back off to the beach this afternoon and actually the weather's not amazing, which is good because hopefully that'll put most people that are on holidays off from going to the beach too, but otherwise I will be there, I will be with my journal and I will be no doubt allowing the magic to unfold and drop in as I, yeah, disconnect to reconnect. So I hope you found that useful and let me know, as always, if anything came up for you, um, throughout this message, and if you want to, um, chat some more about reclaim your legion edge, I would love to hear from you. In the meantime, I do owe you an update on my manjaro journey. So I'm going to do that before summer's out, and I've also got some amazing guests lined up for starting back in September. So, back to school, vibes for that. And, yeah, until next week, don't forget to disconnect, to reconnect, to hear yourself clearly again, and I will speak to you then. Take care, thank you.

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Emma Clayton

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